5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
