i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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