yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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