My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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