I wish I only lived at night.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
