Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
