I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He better not be in your backpack
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
