if i can run in heels then i can drive
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
