just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
