I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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