Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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