You work out of a Hotel?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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