Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
