ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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