are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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