he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
