I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
