my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
