Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
