i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She even gives head with a lisp.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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