Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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