I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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