Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Randomize
