Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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