i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
