im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
