My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
So many bounce houses so little time
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
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