when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
