I just made out with a guy for $7.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
