What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
a search helicopter?!
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
