I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
