This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
