your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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