I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
