Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
