i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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