i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
