Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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