I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
