We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
