The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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