He disabled his match.com account in front of me
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I am one with the molecules
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
