Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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