and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize