She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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