Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
3pm strippers are depressing
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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