He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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