she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
as a side note pls kill me
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
