508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
