More tranny stories later!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
