uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
no you cant smoke seaweed
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
