so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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