just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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