Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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