I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
