Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
