Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
