I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize