Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
