I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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